1. Managers should enable team autonomy, not become a bottleneck
Many commenters argue that a good EM is one whose absence barely slows the team.
“A good manager is a transparent umbrella… they protect the team from unnecessary stress and pressure, but don’t hide reality from them.” – crjohns648
“If your teams fail to function without your help then you’re clearly not supporting them well enough.” – onion2k
“A good manager is more like a transparent umbrella… they protect the team… but don’t hide reality from them.” – crjohns648
2. Coaching and soft‑skill development are core to the EM role
The discussion repeatedly stresses that EMs must mentor, influence, and help engineers grow beyond pure coding.
“Coaching doesn’t imply superiority… it’s about guiding the other person to find the right answer on their own.” – GabriDaFirenze
“Coaching is about seeing the person up for promotion and helping them focus on the right stuff for the team’s success.” – throwaway173738
“Coaching does not imply superiority… a coach can help a player become a better version of themselves.” – super_mario
3. Transparency and communication are essential, but must be balanced
Commenters note that managers should share context and keep the team informed, yet avoid over‑loading them with politics or unnecessary detail.
“Being a transparent umbrella does require knowing the personalities of your reports… you can’t have individual contributors lead if they’re going to run into issues as soon as they discover what is going on overhead.” – zerkten
“You want to be aware of enough to be productive, but not so much that you get bogged down in the minutiae of corporate politics.” – DrBazza
“A good manager has to provide cover for the team, but it’s up to the team to hold the manager up – just like an umbrella.” – Shalomboy
These three themes—autonomy, coaching, and balanced transparency—recur throughout the discussion as the defining qualities of an effective engineering manager.